If you’ve been to a few yoga classes, chances are you’ve ended at least one of them with a ‘namaste’. (Pronounced: nah-mah-stay). But what does namaste really mean, and how can we bring the power of it into our day to day life?
Firstly, it’s a greeting (hello and goodbye) used across both India and Nepal. Hindi and Nepali are derived from Sanskrit, an ancient language believed to have begun around 1500BCE. The greeting is typically accompanied with a physical gesture: bowing the head, along with pressing the hands together close to the heart.
Namaste has many meanings, but literally it translates to “I bow to you”. ‘Nama’ is bow, ‘as’ is I, and ‘te’ means you. Using namaste is a way to connect with the lineage and rich history of yoga, and is also a way for the teacher to connect with their students. Namaste is also said to mean the following:
My soul honours your soul.
I honour the place in you where the entire universe resides.
I honour the light, love, truth, beauty and peace within you, because it is also within me.
In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.
Wow. Puts ‘Hey’ ‘What’s up?’ or ‘How you going?’ to shame, doesn’t it? As I’m currently travelling in countries where I’m frequently ‘namaste-ing’ it got me thinking – what would life be like if we all included a bit more namaste in our daily lives?
Now, I know given the current state of world affairs, sometimes it’s hard to see the light, love, truth, beauty and peace in others. Occasionally, people really are jerks. (I’m probably not supposed to say that as a psychologist). I can think of many names in politics right now that it would be hard to give a genuine namaste to. But, let’s think on a smaller scale here. Your common-or-garden jerk. That friend of a friend, colleague, or member of the public you cross paths with who really riles you up. Maybe they’re prone to making inappropriate, rude or blunt remarks. Maybe they’re super arrogant and showy, or don’t let you get a word in edgeways. Maybe they’re really flaky – making plans then always bailing on them at the last moment. Or maybe they cut you up on the motorway or at the train ticket queue.
All of these personal qualities or interactions can be frustrating at best, or leave you seething for hours, days or weeks at worst. So what can we do about it? How can we ‘honour the soul’ of people who irritate us?
- Consider what’s behind their behaviour
“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath” – Eckhart Tolle
Here’s the thing – if someone is behaving in a negative way towards you, chances are, they probably don’t feel so great about themselves. Someone who doesn’t stop talking about themselves, talks over you and just doesn’t listen? They may have life experiences of being talked over constantly, or never feeling truly heard and listened to. Maybe they have social anxiety and they’re talking to fill in what they perceive to be awkward silences. Maybe their sense of self worth depends on receiving approval and attention from others. Of course, it could be all of these things or none of these things – everyone’s story is different. But the point is – if you try to see these behaviours in a different light, by trying to understand or at least holding in mind potential reasons for the behaviour, you might find that you perceive that person to be less irritating. It also helps to shift our perspective from focusing solely inwards, to considering how others might be feeling. Maybe their quality could even become endearing?
“There isn’t a person you wouldn’t love, if you could read their story”
Ok, so you’ve tried it and you’re not getting that endearing vibe. I urge you try on more than one occasion to give this a go. Our perspectives can be tricky to shift. Research has suggested that for interpersonal relationships to flourish, there is a 5:1 positive to negative interaction ratio necessary. So what else can you do?
- Reframe your perspective
“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are”
Reframing a situation is simply considering another perspective. 100 people could have the same experience, but report totally different points of view on what happened, depending on their personality, life experiences, or even how much sleep they had the night before and what they ate for lunch. Some examples of reframes for helping to see the light and beauty in others (or maybe just to ease your frustration a little!):
– See someone as bossy? How about determined, strong willed, or a great leader?
– A person that always has to be centre of attention? How about energetic, entertaining, effervescent?
– Someone who is really rigid or inflexible? How about – they know what they want and exactly how to get their needs met?
Reframes are a simple way to improve our own mental wellbeing during a potentially stressful interaction, and have the possibility to transform our experience into a neutral or even positive interaction. Remember – we don’t have control over anyone except ourselves.
“If you don’t like a situation, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” – Maya Angelou.
- Letting it go
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” – Buddha
So you’ve given those ideas a go, but you’re still finding yourself getting irked by the postman leaving your package out in the rain, or that man on your commute who cut you up at the traffic lights. You sit there stewing all day about it. “How dare he!” “I can’t believe how stupid he is” “So disrespectful”. The thing is – the person you’re cross at has no idea. None of your cross thoughts are actually achieving anything. The only person you’re affecting is yourself.
Stress has a profound effect on both our mental and physical health. Stress can affect everything from our sleep to our heartbeat – it can even make your hair fall out, and it’s directly linked to the 6 leading causes of death (including cancer, accidents and suicide). So when we get angry, we’re harming others (whether that’s through thought or action), and we’re also harming ourselves.
Letting it go doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything that happens. It certainly doesn’t mean you should be letting go of interactions that are harmful to you, either emotionally or physically. But it does mean picking your battles, and choosing your own health and inner peace over arguing or needing to be right.
Consider this – will this interaction matter in a week, a month, a year? If the answer is no, let it go. We have limited time and energy on this planet, and stewing about a ‘disrespectful’ ticket inspector isn’t a useful or positive use of our time. Try and zoom out – think of the bigger picture, and the likelihood is, the thing you’re angry at won’t seem quite so important.
What do you think about using ‘namaste’ today? Any of those ideas you think you could try? Let me know! In part 2 I’ll be writing about how to use the power of namaste on ourselves – how to better connect with our own light, truth and beauty.
Namaste,
The Yog Travelogue
The Yog Travelogue 